Antics and Ramblings of Kat

Monday, August 21, 2006

Mission Bell

Isn't it strange how something familiar can sometimes suddenly hit you with something you needed to know?

I've been like that with Delirious' album, The Mission Bell just lately. I loved this album from the moment I heard it - but when I was listening to it earlier today, the lyrics just leapt out of the song and smacked my inbetween the eyes.

I've been finding my walk with God more difficult lately than I have done in a few years... that's down to a few reasons, but mainly due to the death of my grandma a couple of months ago and also the unrest that's occurring at my home church in MK. I'd lost the passion, the urgency, the desire I had before - instead I was struggling on a bit, a little half-heartedly... And it was only just now, really listening to those lyrics and with God speaking through them that I've truly realised this. God asking me whether I can honestly sing the words and mean them. I'd managed to deceive myself that everything was ok really, and no, it actually wasn't. I have some work to do... but thankfully I don't have to do that alone - praise God!

Here I am send me
Show me a vision like Isaiah saw
Where the angel touched his lips
And he sinned no more
Let me hear the your voice saying
"Whom shall I send?"
I'll say send me Lord
I'll follow you to the end
Show me a vision like Ezekiel saw
An army of light
From a valley of bones
Breathe life into these lungs of mine
So I can scream and shout
Of your love divine
Search light burns bright
Floods my eyes
Invade me serenade me
I'm giving back my life
Here I am send me
Here I am send me
There's nothing in my hands
But here I am send me
I'm in Jacob's dream seeing heaven's gate
Let me climb all night
On my ladder of faith
Wrestle with the angel
Till my body is weak
Dislocate my bones
For it's you that I seek
Show me the light Paul apostle saw
When he fell to the dust
And he could see no more
Open my eyes, open my eyes
Open my eyes, open my eyes
I'm frightened what you'll find
When you open up my heart
I'm walking in the light
'Cos it's light that changes the atmosphere
So touch these lips that criticise
And put a song in my mouth
That opens our eyes

It's time for some change. And some action.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

JB2 2006

Ahhh.... I've been back from JB2 for about 10 days now, and I'm only just beginning to feel like I've recovered. Perhaps launching back into a 35 hour week at work, combined with several rather late nights to boot, didn't really help matters!

Anyway... JB2. Exhausting. Busy. Rewarding. Definitely rewarding. One of my main tasks for the week was to coordinate worship - a daunting task when you're trying to please the various and diverse tastes of a group of 60+. God blessed me (and doused my worries!) with a wonderful group of incredibly enthusiastic musicians - bassist, electric guitarist, flautists, pianist, saxophonist... My concerns that worship could be a half-hearted affair were blasted away by God - who provided the means for us to make a joyful noise to him! Perhaps another time I'll blog my thoughts on performance vs praise (a slight issue I had with a couple of my musicians) but that's a whole other topic!

Another event of note was my first foray into leading a meeting, on "Who is the Holy Spirit?". I was daunted from the outset, but on the day before feelings of trepidation were building! However, the night before I went to bed, the group of girls in my dorm prayed for me, and in particular that I would get a refreshing night's sleep - which was in short supply that week, I assure you! That night I got a fabulous night's sleep (praise God!) and managed to deliver my talk with God-inspired confidence, and to communicate who the Holy Spirit was as best as I could. God definitely used me and my inexperience and made it into something worthy, and something valuable and encouraging to the growing members of His Kingdom.

There are so many other things I could say... God worked so much that week, in me alone. What an encouragement and a joy to see God in action, particularly for me at a time when it's been so easy to feel discouraged. JB2 has left me feeling uplifted - and I hope that by blogging the things that have encouraged me, I won't forget them as it's all too often so easy to do.